I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
