Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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