Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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