You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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