Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Randomize
