Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
