butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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