Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
