dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
