No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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