I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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