Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
