You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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