Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
