We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
