..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
