i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
