i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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