I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
