I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm sobbing to NWA
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
