How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize