So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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