Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
