there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
