I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
