Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
