Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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