I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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