with your own penis?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize