So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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