Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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