So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
