She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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