They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
