I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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