i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
