yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
