Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
