My room smells like vodka and shame
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
