Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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