I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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