I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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