I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
