Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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