dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
