Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
