he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
