Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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