there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize