my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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