I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
