I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize