It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
