People with herpes should wear stickers.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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