So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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