kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize