I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
