He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
