you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
