I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
