words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
