I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
