goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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