I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I touched a dick in church today
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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