Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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