Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
