You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
