I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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