Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
