Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
