There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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