Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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