Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
