Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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