We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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