I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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